DCarter, I need your help!

[Sachsen]

If her picture is really her, she is gorgeooooous!!!!!

Someone needs to learn a little something about the internet...

[calexico]

Involving Carter in this attempted spearing of young , pliable flesh will result in the biggest cock block since Larry tried to mount his Mamma.

[hiredgun]

Their is a girl over at viachicago that I need you to hook me up with. Her screen name is Speed Racer. I am truely smitten over her. If her picture is really her, she is gorgeooooous!!!!!

She has been writting these hysterical parodies of Wilco songs. Check this one out:

I dreamed about suing you again last night
it felt alright to me
filing on the terms of a contract left unsigned
I watched your wallet bleed
and buried you alive in a settlement today
raining down on me
your cold-hard cash flowing over me like a sea

I printed my name on the back of a suit
And I had it filed away
The dough I had in catalog of songs and movies
Is all I tried to save
So my health brought me back, via Cook County
In the middle of the spring
And all for $50k (read: fifty-k), or whatever comes from this thing

You know I'll break my back one of these days
And turn on poor VC
You'll watch a man with a face like mine
Suing fans for their parodies
And when I get caught I won't be right
And I won't get a cent

I'm suing you,
I'm suing you,
Via Cook County

gotta pay the rent,
god my hip is spent,
searching for a cent,
via Cook County

searching for a cent,
searching for a cent...


I checked out her profile and she is 24 years old....A little young but doable. You gotta help me out man!